Jealousy

It's when you see that smile and wonder why it was'nt for you. When your hands brush your lips in dissappointment. When your mind is in a rage and your eyes refuse to look away.

You begin to fear and loathe.

....

You're a hero till you fall. You're then a battered victim without hope.

Looking Back and Ahead

2009 was the year of the highest of highs and somewhat lows.

It began with bidding farwell to a close friend, getting a promotion, a makeover and a roller coaster vacation. It was also the year of falling out of lust and diving deep into music and books. I let go of a lot of my inhibitions, yet was hesistant in going ahead with some of my ideas. I discovered new music, attempted to play the drums (of which i soon got bored and gave up), and made three new friends (which is quite an acheivement, btw!). I tried my hand at dating (again!), socialising and building my network of aquaintances. I did suceed in growing the number of people i know but failed miserably at socialising. I also was able to make work impersonal and had looked forward to being home on time. It was also the year i had most fun- without any worries.

The year brought with it some surprises, plenty of presents (thanks, Mint!) and a new found confidence. I discovered a whole new aspect about myself (which, at first shocked and then pleased me). The end of the year brought with it a delicious engagement which is currently adding a lot of fun to my hour long travel to work.

Looking back, of all the things i had sought out to do this year, most has been successfully accomplished. I think i have emerged a much stronger person and have gained some clarity about my future. What the next will bring, im damned curious to find out. But i guess i ahve already anticipated some of it.

2010 might not be any different but then again, it could also be the year of change. I hope it would be.

But all I know is: there’s something new this year.

All I know is there’s something new real near.

- Hello Saferide

wow!

Today was the day I unlearned everything. All that I thought I would learn about was put to test, validated and then popped right out the window.
Till today, I was unsure of what I was doing or wanted to do. but I guess, right now I'm the world's most clear headed person. Witnessing supreme empty headed pompousness and empty words have left just one lingering thought- is this what "the best" can do?
Today is the day I know for sure what I can do and I'll b damned if I don't go ahead and achieve it!

An excerpt from The World As I See It by Albert Einstein

I chanced upon this essay by Albert Einstein (we all know who HE is!) and this particular part of the essay sort of stuck on. It talks about how importance of life's mysteries and how it makes life even more interesting.

""The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man... I am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence -- as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature."

Braindead

For a long time i've been thinking about what i can post here that will amount to an acceptable "blog entry". My long metro rides have given birth to several superb ideas on what i could possibly write about- farting men, fashionless women, pretentious insensitive humans, the rush hour crowd, etc. However, the trouble with my grey cells is that they refuse to go beyond the idea. The thought of penning down an entire blog post is so revolting to the my otherwise active brain that they simply stop functioning the moment i get the paper out.

My brain dies just when i want it the most.

P.S: this post has no point to it. Just an example of how empty my mind feels right now.

December Wishlist

The year is about to end and i need something to look forward to in the next year. That's what resolutions are. They are those painful truths that keep knocking on our conscience when we stray.

Even if the resolutions i make are imaginary and maybe wont ever happen, I'll have something more than  mundane life to keep me going. So, instead of naming it 2010 wishlist (which i probably will create in some days), i have decided to call it my December Wishlist.

Here goes-

1. Navy blue hair

2. Scarlet nails

3. A clear head

4. A new emotion

5. A macbook

6.  New Obsession

7. Alternate choice

8.  Silence