The Anti-Office Syndrome

Monday Blues? Hate the work-week? Keep looking forward to the day ending even before it’s started? Day dreaming of earning money off a hillside café? You are suffering from “the Anti-office syndrome”

Let’s face it. For us middle class folks in the late 20’s, we would be looking at trying to make a living at least for the next 20 more years. Some of us will quit the corporate sham and start up something of their own – while a majority of us will continue with the drudgery for most of our adult life.

There is no escaping it. But what we don’t realize is a lot of the so-called drudgery that we call work is often brought upon us ourselves. We’re constantly measuring ourselves with standards set by others that eventually lead to the demise of the optimism that we had when we started working as freshers.

So here’s a ready (WIP) reckoner for all of us – one that reminds us daily wage earners that there is more to life, than an occasional work-day blues

1.      Don’t compare. One of the biggest mistakes that we make is making comparisons with other peers/superiors, anyone. What we tend to forget is that whatever it is that working for them does not mean that it would work for us too. Let others be. Focus on yourself and your work – figure out ways of doing it better in context of your own abilities. Comparing your salary, appraisal status, etc only disturbs you and you alone. It does not affect the other person you are trying so hard to bring down.

2.       Stay away from office politics. Often, most of the so-called office politics are created by us, stemming from the above stated point. However tempting it may seem, the more embroiled you get in it, the worse your work-day blues become.  Remember, the guy who’s doing well and is respected most is the one who focuses only on his work

3.       Respect. Everyone. At every position. It does not matter the number of experience you have or don’t have. Everyone working around deserves the same kind of respect that you demand for yourself

4.       Appreciate. It’s OK if it wasn't your idea that got through. Learn from the one that did and appreciate it’s owner. One pat on the back is not going to make you a loser.

5.       It’s not personal. Its just work. A part of your life. Not your whole life. Have other hobbies that help you take your mind off work. Help you detach and unwind. Constantly fretting over how to get into your boss’s good books is not going to land you that promotion. Similarly, not every comment made, every feedback given is aimed at you personally. Always remember to keep it within the realms of your professional life

6.       Have your priorities cleared. What is it that you are working for? What personal/ professional objectives do you want to achieve from your current role/profile, etc? having a clear objective will help you focus better and allow you to slide through the tough times at work. Because at the end of the day, what you do will matter, rest everything else will become incidental

These are just some ways of keeping the work blues at bay. What are some ways you stay focused on work?

Inspiration

Where do you go looking for inspiration?

Inside a book? At a mall? The lyrics of your favorite song? In your dysfunctional relationships? Alcohol? Random drunken conversation with strangers? Your past successes? Failures? A facebook status update or a twitter feed? Gazing into the dark night? Or walking aimlessly on a busy street? The internet? Google? Observing people or ignoring their existence? Questioning your motives? Or letting things be? God? Religion? Going back in the past? Or trying to control the future? Staying up in a sleepless night? Listening to deafening music? Inside a movie hall? Amidst a crisis? By being spontaneous? Or planning your whole life? Doing what others are busy imitating?

There is no real answer, is there?

Who am I?

I make the noise to shake you up
I fake a smile to cheer you up
I'll lead the way to your disaster
I'm the one you can't run after

How *NOT* to make the first move

It's quite amusing how my first post of the new year is going to be this..but i guess life has it;s ways of laughing back at you.

Here goes my disastrous attempt at starting a conversation with a total stranger-:

For the last couple of months, i had been eyeing this totally cute guy on the metro. And the whole time i waited for him to make the first move. But after TWO MONTHS OF NOTHING but only staring...i thought- ENOUGH! It was time to take matters into my own hands. If he was not going to do it, I will.

Today: It seemed as if fate had plans for me. I board the metro at the usual hour and find that all the seats BUT the one next to HIM are occupied. I have not other choice but to place myself right next to him. And so begins our 50 min train ride together.'

Suddenly,my head starts screaming- "DO SOMETHING. THIS IS IT! Make the Move...Find out if he's worth the pursuit"...and out of pure impulse and realising that we were about to de-board, i pluck up enough courage to sit up and talk to him. Here's what happend next-

Me (looking at him intently) : Excuse me

He (staring ahead in space  and earphone plugged in ignores)

Me (tapping on his arm and smiling foolishly): Excuse me

He (turning his face with zero expression) : yea

Me (smiling, trembling, stammering): What kind of music are you listening to? I am totally bored of the music on my ipod and i could use some ideas on the different kind of music i could listen to.

He (zero expression again and pointing to his phone) : yea...so i listen to this

He pulls out his phone and shows me his playlist. And THEN it happens..

Me (still smiling, slightly trembling) : oh, nice! what genre do you really like?

He : No, not that, i have basically rock and rap

Me: oh, so you like hip hop?

He: No, i just listen to some rap songs

(All this time he is scrolling up and down and then he suddenly pauses on one track)

HE: this is my favorite track (pointing to Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You)

ME (thinking, "is he gay?" :|) - Oh nice..thats a really old number

He (still NO expression)- Yea..well...what music do you listen to

Me (pulling out my playlist and scrolling real fast): i listen to all sorts of music...rock, hip hop, pop

He: oh..so you ahve *kali*fornia love too (yes, that's right...he pronounced California Love as *kali*fornia..where kali as in hindi for flower bud)

Me (stumped, totally turned off and speechless..still trembling :|): yea..

By then, the train arrived at his station and he bid adieu and went off. I on the other hand, asked myself, "What the fuck did just happen?"  I knew i never should have attempted to make the first move..or any move for that matter.. I am a disaster when it comes to flirting (or whatever it was that i did) and this just proves it.

Btw, im never getting back on the same train as him. :)

Jealousy

It's when you see that smile and wonder why it was'nt for you. When your hands brush your lips in dissappointment. When your mind is in a rage and your eyes refuse to look away.

You begin to fear and loathe.

Braindead

For a long time i've been thinking about what i can post here that will amount to an acceptable "blog entry". My long metro rides have given birth to several superb ideas on what i could possibly write about- farting men, fashionless women, pretentious insensitive humans, the rush hour crowd, etc. However, the trouble with my grey cells is that they refuse to go beyond the idea. The thought of penning down an entire blog post is so revolting to the my otherwise active brain that they simply stop functioning the moment i get the paper out.

My brain dies just when i want it the most.

P.S: this post has no point to it. Just an example of how empty my mind feels right now.

December Wishlist

The year is about to end and i need something to look forward to in the next year. That's what resolutions are. They are those painful truths that keep knocking on our conscience when we stray.

Even if the resolutions i make are imaginary and maybe wont ever happen, I'll have something more than  mundane life to keep me going. So, instead of naming it 2010 wishlist (which i probably will create in some days), i have decided to call it my December Wishlist.

Here goes-

1. Navy blue hair

2. Scarlet nails

3. A clear head

4. A new emotion

5. A macbook

6.  New Obsession

7. Alternate choice

8.  Silence

Oh Satan

Oh Satan,

Where did you go?

When the time was right

Why did'nt you show

The sweetness of evil

and the demolition of the angel

 

Oh Satan,

Why did you not come

to the burial ground

WHere we buried the good

and brought out the dead

 

Oh Satan,

Grant me one last wish

To hold them in my palm

Squeezing them alive

And while you feed on their souls

Let me drink their blood as wine

November

Have been experiencing a variety of emotions lately and all together- excitement, anger, bitterness, lusty, cheery, overwhelmed, restless, happy. The year is about to end and i can feel a storm building up. It's that time of the year when i take out my list and strike out the things i had meant to do. Unfortunately, this year, i dont think i will be striking out anything.

:(

It's November.

And i'm trying really hard not to look forward to certain things. And im trying equally hard to let go of certain things.

Let's Live Again

After a point of time, all your senses go numb. You stop feeling or caring about anything. All that matters is absolute nothingness and complete inadequacy to enjoy the simple joys of life. That's when the bigger questions begin to hit you.

Where are you headed?

What does it all mean?

Why should you live this way?

Is this how you have chosen to live now?

Can you ever go back? Ever?

And immediately after this, you start thinking about "back then". About how things were same and yet you never complained. So why now? If you can't feel anything, what is THIS called?

Suddenly it dawns upon you that this is how it is going to be. The past, the present, the future. All amalgamate into one large drawing and while you're busy filling in the colours of your present or covering up the smudges of your past or even outlining the contours of your future, life happens. It doesn't matter what you've drawn. It would've happened had you not been so busy with your picture- fixing it, altering it, etc.

So what's the bottomline to all of this? Nothing.  You live and then you die. Turn to dust.  You're senses dont mean anything in the end.

What do you do now? Just go around doing what you want to do. Feel what you want to feel. The longer you waste your time being someone else, harder it will become for you to feel anything foryourself.

Be whole again. Be yourself. The world can go to hell. Dont go with it.

For the lack of anything better to do, I conjured this up.. call it a poem, call it a song..i dont know. I even don't have a title for it. Care to suggest one?

********************************************************************************************************

Sitting on the ceiling, watching the world pass by
Trying to keep up and I don’t know why
Hoping you will see me up in the sky
And I wait for you here,
And I wait for you here 

The song is full of dreams and memories
The night we parted and never came
Back to the world we so hated
Oh yea!
You said you’d never go back
Oh yea!
You said you ever never gonna go back

Sitting on the ceiling, watching the world pass by
Trying to keep up and I don’t know why
Hoping you will see me up in the sky
And I wait for you here,
And I wait for you here

I silently watch you fall
On your own lies
Try not to smile now,
As it may seem fake

Sitting on the ceiling, watching the world pass by
Trying to keep up and I don’t know why
Hoping you will see me up in the sky
And I wait for you here,
And I wait for you here

....

Random Thought#1

I think I am slowly losing my mind. Giving in to the sanity of the world. Though it's hard to say why...maybe because I am giving in or maybe because I am too tired.

Does'nt matter really. 

Random Thought#2

Fighting off the peace my mind has suddenly developed. It's hard to think when I'm relaxed\

Random Thought#3

I miss the part of me when I loved everyone. I just can't stand people now

Random Thought#4

If god had a plan for all us...does it mean that my plan is lost? Am I living someone else's life?

Random Thought#5

I'm not a cynic. Nor am i a skeptic. I am being the person I ought to be.

Chapter One

She could not trust anybody she met. Her thoughts were largely colored by what others felt. She was getting closer to deceiving herself every day. It felt like small rocks were slowly filling up in every space of her body and that if she did not conform to the “rules of the game”, she would be left behind and lead an average life.  She longed for Prince Charming and rejected everyone who came along. She also never had any real friends. All those she met had some agenda which once fulfilled, would go away, giving her only a taste of what real friendship could be like. The ones she tried to hang out with were always disapproved by either her family or her other “good” friends.

She tried to be someone else every day, since being herself made her look shallow, silly and juvenile. Everything she thought was wrong. Everything she wanted to do was unsuitable. She was going nowhere and she was pleasing no body.

Mayhem

Mayhem. That is what describes this blog perfectly.  It is about nothing yet will be about everything. Beware of frequent changes in the blog. It will just be the beginning.

Before you begin to wonder on the name of the blog, STOP. The name has nothing to do with what will go on here. It does represent the overall theme. It is about shining brightly when the light hits you and then even more when it passes away.

Till I write next, Glitter, Sparkle and Shine.

Happy New Year!