Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Looking Back and Ahead
But all I know is: there’s something new this year.
All I know is there’s something new real near.
- Hello Saferide
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
wow!
Till today, I was unsure of what I was doing or wanted to do. but I guess, right now I'm the world's most clear headed person. Witnessing supreme empty headed pompousness and empty words have left just one lingering thought- is this what "the best" can do?
Today is the day I know for sure what I can do and I'll b damned if I don't go ahead and achieve it!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
An excerpt from The World As I See It by Albert Einstein
""The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man... I am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence -- as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature."
Braindead
My brain dies just when i want it the most.
P.S: this post has no point to it. Just an example of how empty my mind feels right now.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
December Wishlist
Even if the resolutions i make are imaginary and maybe wont ever happen, I'll have something more than mundane life to keep me going. So, instead of naming it 2010 wishlist (which i probably will create in some days), i have decided to call it my December Wishlist.
Here goes-
1. Navy blue hair
2. Scarlet nails
3. A clear head
4. A new emotion
5. A macbook
6. New Obsession
7. Alternate choice
8. Silence
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Past Life
It is this desire at the time of death
that determines what our next life is to be.
We will come back to earth to work
out the satisfaction of that desire.
- The Upanishads
Sunday, November 8, 2009
....
It's quite unbelievable, actually. I'm still reeling from the shock. The unpredictable turn of events has definetly got me smashed up.
And for the time ever, i regret.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Oh Satan
Where did you go?
When the time was right
Why did'nt you show
The sweetness of evil
and the demolition of the angel
Oh Satan,
Why did you not come
to the burial ground
WHere we buried the good
and brought out the dead
Oh Satan,
Grant me one last wish
To hold them in my palm
Squeezing them alive
And while you feed on their souls
Let me drink their blood as wine
November
:(
It's November.
And i'm trying really hard not to look forward to certain things. And im trying equally hard to let go of certain things.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The Time Traveler's Wife

The Time Traveler’s Wife is perhaps , one of the most beautiful book I have read in a really long time. It is a story of Henry and Clare- their journey through love, life and time. Henry travels through time and its pretty much not under his control. Clare is an artist and both have known each other their life. This book has the ability to make you fall in love, break your heart, makes you smile and before you know it, tears will be rolling down your face. For me, the book was about love. What it is and how it grows- through time, absence and distance.
The author uses Homer’s Odyssey and AS Byatt’s Possession as metaphorically explaining what Henry and Clare go through. The book in parts drags- but you’ve got to hold on. Its at the end when you know that its not wasted. Written very simply and clearly, Audrey Niffenger manages to weave together a timeless story of emotions- love, longing, loneliness, death and dreams. it is narrated in first person alternatively by Henry and Clare- you see the world through their eyes, feelings and thoughts. I finished this book on my way to work and i remember listening to my ipod while reading- strangely, when the book was about to end, U2's Stuck In A Moment began. What an apt song to sum it all up.
I am no expert in love. But if it is the way it is in this book, then yes, I want to fall in love. Even when it is not there.
I leave you with the opening lines of the book which I absolutely adore:
“Clare: It's hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he's okay. It's hard to be the one who stays.
I keep myself busy. Time goes faster that way.
I go to sleep alone, and wake up alone. I take walks. I work until I'm tired. I watch the wind play with the trash that's been under the snow al winter. Everything seems simple until you think about it. Why is love intensified by absence?
Long ago, men went to sea, and women waited for them, standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship. Now I wait for Henry. He vanishes unwillingly, without warning. I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?"
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Comfortably Numb
The year is about to end and I seem to have been able to do only a couple of the dozen things i intended to do. I just don't have time to move out of my comfort- to experience the rush of risk; the danger of spontaneity; the happiness of surviving; the sadness of letting go- to take it all in before it's tooo late. I've become a robot with a routine.
That's not how i started out. I dont crave for unnecessary excitement but only for life to happen to me at the right time.
Just in time before i go completely numb.
"I cant explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb."
Saturday, September 12, 2009
And why is it that when one attempts to flaunt their individuality, their intellect and their supreme ability to accomplish every task that comes their way- such people are labelled arrogant and aggresive?
Why can't we stand some one else's courage to stand out in the crowd and rebel? Why are we so caught up in doing things "the right way"?
And those who can't flaunt it, successfully fake it!
Tolerating someone else's success has always been a problem with us humans and will probably always be.
Just live and let live. Seriously!!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Lestat
*********************************************************************************
Disappointed, the old vampire receded into the dark
Determined to come back to life
Or to surviving that he knew was not hard
He kept himself awake with the blood of the sweet maid
Who knew her master was ill and that her fate was made
She gave up all she had for him
Only to be turned into what others would call a sin
She loved him and so did he
Together, they set about
With dreams of conquering the world
Until one fateful day HE decided to return
Detached, cold, restless and undone
He was beautiful and clean
Like the devil, HE walked in unseen
HE was mortal and not dead
For 200years, it never seemed to end
Now HE knew he’d found his nemesis
Who lay unaware in the arms of his mistress
They dueled all night and then in the dark
She watched them with an impassive heart
It must all stop, she told herself
I must bring a closure, it must all end
And so she burned their castle down
Fell in his arms and cried out aloud
“atlast we pay for all our sins,
Let us leave as our hearts bleed”
HE watched them turn to ash and dust
As He made his way back to the world
That gave HIM no life or even death
But only the loss of a friend
HE no longer regrets
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Let's Live Again
Where are you headed?
What does it all mean?
Why should you live this way?
Is this how you have chosen to live now?
Can you ever go back? Ever?
And immediately after this, you start thinking about "back then". About how things were same and yet you never complained. So why now? If you can't feel anything, what is THIS called?
Suddenly it dawns upon you that this is how it is going to be. The past, the present, the future. All amalgamate into one large drawing and while you're busy filling in the colours of your present or covering up the smudges of your past or even outlining the contours of your future, life happens. It doesn't matter what you've drawn. It would've happened had you not been so busy with your picture- fixing it, altering it, etc.
So what's the bottomline to all of this? Nothing. You live and then you die. Turn to dust. You're senses dont mean anything in the end.
What do you do now? Just go around doing what you want to do. Feel what you want to feel. The longer you waste your time being someone else, harder it will become for you to feel anything foryourself.
Be whole again. Be yourself. The world can go to hell. Dont go with it.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Strictly Sexual

When you hear about a movie called Strictly Sexual, you dismiss it immediately for you assume that all it would have is sex, loads of crappy disgusting jokes on sex and silly humour with a too-good-to-be-true ending. That’s exactly what I thought when I first stumbled upon the movie.
But Strictly Sexual is just the opposite. This 2008 movie about two women (Donna and Christie Ann) who hire two out of work construction workers (Stanny and Joe) as their sexual partners manages to delight you and at the same time does not lose itself by focusing simply on sex. It explores friendship, love and relationships in a very refreshing way. Donna is a writer who is afraid to share or show her work to anyone. She is also very rich and loves to experiment in bed. Christie Ann is her sexually timid friend who is an aspiring fashion designer. It is her idea to hire the two men so that she can “practice” with one of them and hence become better at sex. Stanny is the cynic and Joe is the sweet dumb guy who you fall in with. The movie is about how what starts out as a “strictly sexual” encounter evolves into something so much more beautiful and practical.
I loved the movie because it’s romantic without being too corny or unrealistic. It presents you with situations that you can relate with and in no time feel that it could happen to you too. If you love non-clichéd romantic movies, this one is definitely for you.
(poster image source: http://shufilm.blogspot.com/2009/01/unit-4x13.html)
Friday, June 5, 2009
Previous Post
Agnes De Mille
Monday, June 1, 2009
Love
Cut by the storm and trampled by the rain
But as the morning dew rests on its soft petal
It would be alive again
- Marianne Williamson
Thursday, May 28, 2009
********************************************************************************************************
Sitting on the ceiling, watching the world pass by
Trying to keep up and I don’t know why
Hoping you will see me up in the sky
And I wait for you here,
And I wait for you here
The song is full of dreams and memories
The night we parted and never came
Back to the world we so hated
Oh yea!
You said you’d never go back
Oh yea!
You said you ever never gonna go back
Sitting on the ceiling, watching the world pass by
Trying to keep up and I don’t know why
Hoping you will see me up in the sky
And I wait for you here,
And I wait for you here
I silently watch you fall
On your own lies
Try not to smile now,
As it may seem fake
Sitting on the ceiling, watching the world pass by
Trying to keep up and I don’t know why
Hoping you will see me up in the sky
And I wait for you here,
And I wait for you here
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
A Drunk Me
Well..the opportunity came when we were saying goodbye to a close friend and colleague and it was decided that 6 of us gather at her place for a complete daaru session.
I reached her place at 7pm and found everything and everyone was waiting for me. I sat down and one of the boys poured me a small neat shot of vodka. Yes..I was damn nervous when I had the glass in my hand coz the last thing I wanted was to puke even before the party started. But after encouragement from the others... I said a little prayer and gulped down the teeny weeny shot of hot liquid.
And I did not feel a thing.
It was so disappointing that i asked the boys to make me another neat shot of vodka. What the heck, i thought. I'll give it another try. So down went the second drink and I still not feel a thing.
So now it was time for the party to begin...and the drinks started pouring. I was given a choice between Vodka+Orange Juice & Whiskey with coke.
Having had enough vodka, I chose the latter, having never tried it before.
In 3 minutes, I was done with the first round and that;s when the magic started. I began to giggle for no reason which then turned in to a scary uncontrollable laughter. By the time I finshed the second round of whiskey, I was practically rolling on the floor laughing for no apparent reason.
And to my surprise, I got the entire room roaring loudly. We were like a bunch of mad crazy animals let loose.
I donot remember having as much fun as I did that night. All that drinking and laughing...my ribs hurt for the next three days!!
**Sigh** I love alcohol.
P.S: I hope my sisters never read this...or they will be writing a post on how they murdered me after reading this. :(
....
I think I am slowly losing my mind. Giving in to the sanity of the world. Though it's hard to say why...maybe because I am giving in or maybe because I am too tired.
Does'nt matter really.
Random Thought#2
Fighting off the peace my mind has suddenly developed. It's hard to think when I'm relaxed\
Random Thought#3
I miss the part of me when I loved everyone. I just can't stand people now
Random Thought#4
If god had a plan for all us...does it mean that my plan is lost? Am I living someone else's life?
Random Thought#5
I'm not a cynic. Nor am i a skeptic. I am being the person I ought to be.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
25 things..or maybe less
1. Writing's crap and boring. I prefer talking, online chatting and screaming.
2. If looks could kill, i probably would've died a number of times
3. It kills me to know that so many people are travelling around the world, exploring differnet places at this very moment while I am here typing out this mindless shit.
4. My true love is music and unfortunately all gifted musicians are either broke or drug addicts or both.
5. I am a control freak in the making. I love to bully.
6. I think common sense decreases the more you climb up the corporate ladder.
7. I like to form words in the air. I do this quite often.
8. I hate the fact that the mindless Paris Hilton has so much more money than me.
9. I hate pretending to be nice all the time.
10. I discovered what true happiness is when I held my pair of drum sticks for the first time. Can't wait to begin to play.
11. I secretly want to be a hip hop artist but I can't rap!
12. I love to sing. If my voice were'nt so bad, I would sing in public all day long.
13. I am running out of things to write.
14. As much as I crib about being single, I secretly love the fact that I don't have a boyfriend. In these times of recession, it;s the best thing.
15. I wish I could fly. I envy all the birds.
16. I am yet to discover my true passion and I am in no hurry. I know it will find me.
17. I dont miss my school and college days. Life sucked then and life sucks now. No point in cribbing and "missing the good ol' days".
18. Sex is over-rated. It is one activity everyone indulges in and yet no one speaks about it.
19. I love everyone who's on Twitter.
20. I like to know everything about everyone everytime.
21. I like to read but not as much as I say I do.
22. Whoever thought of this 25 things all those who write it have nothing better to do in life. Go save the world or something.
Thursday Mix
Breathe, Stretch, Shake- Mase
California Love- 2Pac
The Mating Game- Bittersweet
Come Together- Aerosmith
Bleed Like Me- Garbage
California Sun- Jem
A Good Start-Jem
All I Need- Matt Kearney
Keep Breathing- Ingrid Michaelson
Stop- Jamelia
Crazy in Love- Beyonce Knowles
Loaded- Primal Scream
Tell Everybody That you Know- Kanye West
Lapdance- N.E.R.D feat.Lee Harvey and Vita
Flashing Lights - Kanye West
No Diggity- Blackstreet feat. Dr Dre
Video Killed the Radio Star- The Buggles
Two Princes- Spin Doctors
Let's go all the way- Sly Fox
Monday, March 2, 2009
Chapter One
She could not trust anybody she met. Her thoughts were largely colored by what others felt. She was getting closer to deceiving herself every day. It felt like small rocks were slowly filling up in every space of her body and that if she did not conform to the “rules of the game”, she would be left behind and lead an average life. She longed for Prince Charming and rejected everyone who came along. She also never had any real friends. All those she met had some agenda which once fulfilled, would go away, giving her only a taste of what real friendship could be like. The ones she tried to hang out with were always disapproved by either her family or her other “good” friends.
She tried to be someone else every day, since being herself made her look shallow, silly and juvenile. Everything she thought was wrong. Everything she wanted to do was unsuitable. She was going nowhere and she was pleasing no body.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
808s and Heartbreak
I am also a faithful hip hop/r&b/rap fan. Though pop, rock, jazz interest me, but hip hop is something i keep coming back to. I stumbled upon Kanye West's latest album 808s and Heartbreak via Grey's Anatomy. One of the latest episodes had Streetlights playing and as is my habit, I went on to investigate

Kanye;s 808s and Heartbreak is experimental album. He has explored new sounds, beats and lyrics and is definetly unlike his other albums.
Another brilliant track from the album is Tell Everybdy That You KNow which features Lil Wayne. After the much successful (& grammy winner) Tha Carter III, Lil Wayne has certainly come a long way. This track has the two artists experimenting with never heard before voice effects and rapping. totally love the number and cannot help listening to it over and over again.
All in all, a supremely interesting album and definetly recommended to all those who are bored of the boring cliched gangsta rap/hip hop. This one's a refreshing change.
Music
Music represents more than just lyrics, beats and rythm. It is another form of living. A life where you don't have to worry about anything, think about anything or even bother being nice to anyone. Our whole life can be summed up by a few tracks; that's how simple music can make life.
While we try to classify music as trashy or classic; meaningful or simply a waste of melody, the tuth remains, our souls are alive because we can always tune out of reality's single boring note and transport ourselves into this magical world where there are so many beats that you son drift off into bliss.
So whether we like hip hop or country or rock or pop, we all are united by this one singular string which keeps us breathing everyday.
Go discover your music. Go discover your life.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
New year...Already??
I like to make my entry into the new year very proper. This time, it caught me by surprise.
What does the new year mean to me? The answer eludes me this time. Sometime back, I had written about the existence of a glass wall between two parts of our being- who we are and who we really want to be. The thickness of the glass depends on how badly we want to go over to the other side. I had also observed that my glass wall was pretty thick. This year, therefore, I plan to break into the other side. Live like I always imagined myself living. Know for certain whether or not I'll like it.
This will be my mantra for this year. Doing everything I did not do till now. It's going to be tough. But who cares? In the end, no one really bothers whether you won, lost or even took part. It's only you who will remember what really happened and that is what will matter the most.
I end with my last year's resolution (excellently summed up by Agate) which I plan to take with me this year too.
" New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take more of my time"- James Agate
Keep shining your light on everyone. Who knows, it might come back you in your darkest hour.